Turning coal into *diamonds*

Have you ever felt like you've completely and totally messed your life up? Like, to the point where everything you do is almost not worth doing anymore, because you feel like no matter what's to come you feel like you'll screw that up too? I more often than not, feel alone in these feelings. I mean, I'll look at everyone else and realize they're doing most of it right cause they're at least smiling, and/or having a good time, (or seemingly so.) And now, you're having a conversation with someone that you know and love, and think, "how can you not SEE that I've ruined my life up until this very moment that we speak?" Or have they, and are just hiding it?  Afraid to say something that will upset you, or maybe they don't even have the words to say anything at all. I KNOW there are things in my life that I should be doing and yet, I can't seem to accomplish them. My motivation is unbelievable! I have the motivation to do about anything, but not the will power. Will power is a strong, strong trait. And I have like.. none of it. I admire so much the people that use it. Like my mom. She is a big inspiration to me. She can find something that she wants to do and then actually do it without fail!  And, it's hard for her at times, but she can get through it like a champ! I sometimes wish I could switch lives with people for a couple of days. Just to know... how they think, how they feel, what kind of exciting things they have going on in there lives, the struggles. The people they love and care about, the accomplishments they've made and then, compare it with mine. Maybe THEN I'll become stronger. To know what it's like to be someone else. Would I be more grateful? Ungrateful? Mean? Kind? Funny? Soooo NOT funny? Understanding? Not understanding? There are a million differents ways to look at your life when you compare it to others. But even if I could really change lives for a day, would I? Would you? Take away the things that are important to you, like my niece and nephews. My family. My pet? All in exchange for HOPEFULLY something better. But, what if it isn't? Strange people, hard job, dealing with drugs, homeless maybe? All of these thoughts seem so easy at first, "I want to be ANYWHERE but here!!!" So many people say those words. What if God really granted you that wish? Would you rather be somewhere, anywhere but where you are? In reality, I have been there. But thinking now, and with a clear head and actual, REAL thinking and observing, I could NEVER say that I would. Yeah, life is difficult and sometimes you may wish you were somewhere else, anywere else... someone else! But, just stop to think about it. RIGHT NOW. How do you see your life now? Good right? Great? Wonderful? Amazing even? I'm counting my blessings and praying with all of my heart that, I will NEVER get to that place again of wishing for someone elses' life. I am grateful. I have a WONDERFUL family that loves and cares about me and vice-versa. I have a job that I may not LOVE, but I AM employed and with the economy how it is... well, enough said about that. I have so many things that I can list off, but I've rambled enough as it is. I just wanted to express the gratitude for the life I have. And as sucky as it may be at times. I have it good. No... AMAZING!!